Monday, June 27, 2011

DAY 4: THAT OUGHT TO KEEP YOU SATISFIED...FOR A WHILE

I almost forgot about you guys! Wouldn't that be awful? I don't want to leave all of you alone, sitting in front of your monitors staring at this blog, refreshing the page every 5 seconds in desperate anticipation of the next thing I shoot onto here. I am so (sarcastically) sorry for the delay!

Okay, today's topic will digress from my usual rantings about how behind I still am with my file system. Instead, we shall discuss...wow this iPad seems to be getting smaller--okay, never mind.

Um, err, yeah. I ain't got nothin', alright?! I lost contact with my muse!

Nah, I'm just kiddin'!

We're gonna talk about something besides myself for today. Hooray for those of you who read this stuff, but actually don't care about the author!

Skittles are amazing! I've expressed that on twitter many times, and I am gleefully filled to the jolly brim with joy that they not only direct awesomely hilarious TV ads and they taste friggin' so great it cannot be described in words but has to be experienced by yourself, but they have a Twitter! They tweet funny one-liners that I treasure and Jesus Christ I wish they'd sponsor me!

Go out and get some dam. skittles already! What are you waiting for? Come on, BEFORE Jesus gets back!!!

I'm gonna have me a bag right now :)

Love,


And of course,



Posted using BlogPress

Sunday, June 26, 2011

DAY THREE: I'M EARLY!

Well, if you read my last post you'd be aware of my itinerary for today. I am dissapointed to report that, although I awoke at 6:30, I did not write in bed today. It's a good exercise for writers for many reasons, but I didn't do it this morning.
Secondly, I only walked around the block 1 lap. I was supposed to do 5 more than that.
However, I did eat a really healthy brekafast and now I'm blogging some stuff for you folks (mostly for myself though, really).

Now, the challenge I face once this thing is uploaded is...reworking my entire filing system and organizing ALL my stand-up comedy material (written, recorded, audio/video). I have been trying to get this done forever! Unfortunately, the constant generating of ideas has overwhelmed my ability to document myself. This has really proved problematic since I have been coming up with shorter bits and one-liners over the past year and a half.
Beleive me, whne you have so many jokes on so many different topics, and you've been so lazy taht you filed said jokes into a folder titled "ORGANIZE THESE", you've got your work cut out for you.

But that is my mission for this week, trying to beat the clock, getting computer files easier to navigate all while my brain contsantly comes up with more crap in the meantime. The "comedy gland" in my mind is on automatic pilot and I basically can't switch it off.
In fact, the only time I am able to come off as serious is on this blog and a few other places across "The Internets".

So, that's the update for today. I'd uopload a pic but that feature isn't working at the moment!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

DAY 2: I'M LATE!

So, they passed the Gay Marriage bill in New York! Awesome, good for them. It's been long awaited.

Anyway, I'm late once again with the blog post as I was hoping to get this done early in the morning today.
But I don't really have a specific topic this afternoon, I'm just spacing out, thinking idle thoughts. For example: this picture of my mom on a trip in LA last Summer. I think it's funny, but you'd have to know her.




By the way, just because I promised you folks a post a day for 4 days in a row, this does not mean I have to make each entry a specific length.
Keep in mind, I am quite tired lately and I have tons of work to catch up on before I get back on track with the whole "open-mic" thing. But when I have a date and a location ready for my next set I will let all of you know. It should be sometime this month. If not, then I'll be playing plenty of places all next month and August as well.

I would've had a wonderful chance to get some stuff done if I had waken up at 6:30 this morning to follow an itinerary I wrote up for myself last evening. Looks like THAT schedule has been pushed to tomorrow.

Here's what that schedule looks like:


•6:30AM-- As soon as I wake up, reach over to night stand, grab pen and notebook. Free write for 15 minutes.

•6:45AM-- Walk around the block six laps.

•7:50AM-- Eat a healthy breakfast.

•8:01AM-- Do today's blog post.

•8:22AM-- Work for at least 2 hours filing and organizing all my files of my written work (including stand-up comedy material)

•10:22AM-- Take a break from the computer. Talk to some actual human beings!

•11:00AM-- Continue reading that good book I like.

•12:00PM-- Healthy lunch

•12:32PM-- Back to work! Another 2 hours of reworking the filing system.

•2:32PM-- Go out to a bunch of places with family.

•7:15PM-- Healthy Dinner

THE REST IS FREE TIME.


- Posted using something on my iPad

Friday, June 24, 2011

DAY 1: AS PROMISED

It is 3:36PM as I am write this. I had originally intended to post this entry around 8:00AM, but I've had issues waking up lately.

So, I figured I'd share with you something that is a bit more on the serious side. I hope you do not get upset by opinion essays, but that is the genre I am delving into today. I mean, we're not exactly The Huffington Post over here. Sorry, that's the way it is, but its MY blog, I'll do it MY way!

Anyway, allow me to introduce the topic: My opposition to ban books in a school library.

Banning books is a violation of our First Amendment rights. If someone is offended by a particular book, they have the choice to not read it--maybe even t not let their kid read it. However, trying to control other people's intake of media content is just plain wrong. A parent has no right to force an entire school to restrict its whole student body, faculty and staff from reading a book.

I find the act of book-banning to be deplorable and that school's moves to ban books will severely result in the degradation of this country's intellectual standing in the world. Parents these days should consider themselves lucky to have their child reading at all! Fewer and fewer children in this country are opening books these days. (Hell, my high school didn't even assign Summer reading for next years Seniors this year!) Ban a book? I thought banning video games was bad, but this is ridiculous!

Sheltering a high-school student from various content is hurting his or her coping, reasoning and perceptions of the real world. A parent's primary job is to prepare their young ones to mature and develop into happy and successful adults, however, censorship only diminishes their experience and holds back a teen's ability to deal with reality.

I say we should get rid of the atrocious abomination "Banned Book Week", seeing that all it really does is inadvertently teach kids that pretending something isn't there or ignoring it, fixes the problem. Denial is not an effective coping strategy, and trying to restrain people's intake is negligent and disrespectful of their rights and choices.

Let me ask a question: If other people, heaven forbid, do somehow manage to become morally and mentally corrupted in their thoughts and actions, simply through the reading of a book, how does that effect your life or your child? Who made you a hero? Stop trying to be a crusader. You may be allowed to tell your kids what they can't read, but how do you know that these books will affect others in the same way?
Tell you what, if people you know become corrupted from what they read, then you can just cut yourself off from those people. After all, it is not what's in the book, it is how our minds process the information. All you have to do is teach your children right from wrong, and to not believe everything what they read. This way, they can (AND SHOULD!) decide for themselves what is questionable.







Thursday, June 23, 2011

"APPARENTLY"

Okay.
Testing...is this thing on? Oh, of course it is...it's a friggin' keyboard!

*AHEM* [ADJUSTS TIE]

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen and sexes in between. My name is... What's that? Oh, they know my name, great!

Hey folks, it's obviously been quite some time now since I spilled my mind onto this blog. But that is precisely what I am here to talk to you about today.

As you are all aware (currently, all 6 of you)--I clearly need to update this thing more regularly. This way, you know, it'll resemble something close to what I started it for in the first place!

Therefore, I have a nice little proposal ready for you:

For the next four days...I will try my hardest to get off my lazy ass, drag myself to the nearest web connected hunk of crap, and WRITE! like a REAL BLOGGER should! About INTERESTING stuff. It's kind of like a New Year's resolution, ya know? Except it's June. Clearly, I'm going to have to discipline myself.

By the way, today's post does not count. The challenge begins tomorrow morning. Eastern Time. Don't miss it. Only at participating Burger Kings.

Okay, so I got ahead of myself with the Burger King thing, but I think it sets the mood...for fooOOooOoOod!!! Ugh. Sorry, I haven't eaten in 2 hours and 18 minutes.

Anyway, so have fun, sleep tight (what am I saying?) and stay hydrated.

I gotta take a crap (JK).

Thanks.

- Posted using some app from my iPad