KEVMAS EVE: PIASTRADVENT #24!

PIASTRA'S (POSSIBLY) PENULTIMATE PIASTRADVENT POST

DAY 22: Just for You!

DAY 22: Just for You!

Day 21: PROPHECY WRONG!

Dec. 20th: "MENTAL SPEWAGE"

DAY 19: CRAPPY MUSIC VID

18th ALREADY

17th: The Gift thta Keeps on Givin'!

Ye Olde 16th

the bleep isn't even me swearing, i'm just trying to hide the name of 1 of the pizza places i mentioned

— Morgan Freeman’s brilliant take on what happened

“You want to know why. This may sound cynical, but here’s why.

It’s because of the way the media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name of a single *victim* of Columbine? Disturbed
people who would otherwise just off themselves in their basements see the news and want to top it by doing something worse, and going out in a memorable way. Why a grade school? Why children? Because he’ll be remembered as a horrible monster, instead of a sad nobody.

CNN’s article says that if the body count “holds up”, this will rank as the second deadliest shooting behind Virginia Tech, as if statistics somehow make one shooting worse than another. Then they post a video interview of third-graders for all the details of what they saw and heard while the shootings were happening. Fox News has plastered the killer’s face on all their reports for hours. Any articles or news stories yet that focus on the victims and ignore the killer’s identity? None that I’ve seen yet. Because they don’t sell. So congratulations, sensationalist media, you’ve just lit the fire for someone to top this and knock off a day care center or a maternity ward next.

You can help by forgetting you ever read this man’s name, and remembering the name of at least one victim. You can help by donating to mental health research instead of pointing to gun control as the problem. You can help by turning off the news.”

DAY 15: "INSERT CLEVER TITLE HERE"

DAY 14: Mom's BDay & Elves on Stike

LEAKED AGAIN

(scary) how did a vid of me and my GF get leaked again? the weird part is that's me on the bottom

The 13th JOLLY KEVIDEO

PIASTRADVENT: 12th YAY of KEVMAS

El-kev-enth of DeKEVmber, 2012

My Merry Montage of Miraculous Merriment, Man!

Dec. 9th: Hanukkah Aboard The Colbert Report Set

DeKEVmber ATE-th

short...i'll make up for it tomorrow

Dec. 7th: BUILDING A BRIDGE BETWEEN the OUTBACK & NORTH POLE

he looks like John Lennon

Dec. 6th: "FROSTY" (snowman?) CHICKEN PRODS. "SURPRISE" GUEST

DeKEVmber 5th of PatriciaDvent

horror-day fear--i mean holiday cheer. Treason's beatings! Sorry, season's greetings.

The PIASTRA-CENTRIC™ Holiday Countdown

LOWER THE VOLUME!!!!

"A VERY PIASTRA CHRISTMAS: THE BESTEST GIFT EVER!"

DARK BLACK FRIDAY: Pt. 1

CRAZY RELATIVES, RELATIVELY INSANE

BERNDORF BELT TECH.

lol omg my dad is employed by them. This is a hilarious video to me. making productions systems seem elegant and classy because this is an Austrian company. The factory working shots punctuated by orchestral performances is laugh-out-loud funny. This vid starts out looking like an ad for a travel agency.

Endless from start to finish? That's a nonsensical contradiction.

hurricane sandy

parody of mishka the husky

'Twas 6 Nights Before Halloween

MESSAGE to JON IVES about iPAD MINI

HoodedCobra Bane Cheerleader

STEPHEN COLBERT MEETS #1 FAN

PIASTRA'S PROBABLE PENDING PROJECTS

don't worry! I'm actually working on tons of stuff. So much so that I don't have time for blog posts what with all the other links I'm on. By the way, this is a possible book kinda publication I may self-publish, a short little thing.

also working on some t-shirt designs, probably find the pics somewhere on the too many social networking media technology I currently am spread too thin with running myself ragged on. 

SO FOLLOW ME, FREIND ME,  FRIENOLLOW ME, SUBSCRIBE, AND FRIESCRIBEOLLOW HERE:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/mental-spewage/id415946663

www.twitter.com/kevinpiastra

www.twitter.com/frostychickenco

www.funnyordie.com/kevinpiastra

http://comedydemo.com/comic.php?tp=&cat=15&id=723

http://toshcommunity.comedycentral.com/Video/Interview-Former-CEO-of-Secure-Symbology/050BFFFFF01C003BD001B01C008C9 

www.twitter.com/piastratology

www.youtube.com/frostychickenprods

www.flavors.me/kevinpiastra

www.blip.fm/executivepanda

www.twitter.com/fluffydg

www.twitter.com/obamaseat

http://toshcommunity.comedycentral.com/Video/Vacation/050BFFFFF01C003BD001B01C3745D 

www.kevinpiastra.tumblr.com

www.darthconneryclaus.tumblr.com

www.the-piastra-factor.tumblr.com

www.twitter.com/hankjdarryl

www.twitter.com/pigonstilts

http://www.the1secondfilm.com/crew/133162

LIVE: TIG NOTARO

just in time for Breast cancer Awareness month. Touching, true, and funny. https://buy.louisck.net/purchase/tig-notaro-live

UN-AIRED HANK DARRYL PROMO

TRANSLATION: WE'RE SCREWED

I'M A FAN OF BANE BUT THE FEELING ISN'T MUTUAL

wrote this with the dude.

http://darthconneryclaus.tumblr.com/post/31790972215/just-filling-you-all-in-on-what-ive-been-up-to

TUMBLR THE NEXT BIG THING, MASSIVE HEAD TRAUMA CAN BE FUN, AND ARTWORK--OH MY!

It seems to me as if blogger is becoming obsolete and everyone who is on top of things in their lives are switching from a .blogspot to having a tumblr page.

Well, that is upsetting to me because I clearly joined blogger too late and never bothered to get the hang of it. I assume it's tool ate now. this is just an inference I am making based on some recent observations.
At least I have www.kevinpiastra.tumblr.com and www.the-Piastra-factor.tumblr.com

Either way, I'm still using this puppy because it's free and if you've ever heard of, read books by, bought art from Hugh Macleod or visited his site at www.gapingvoid.com you would understand.

I know the title of this post said something about massive head trauma, but we will not be discussing that. I figured it'd draw in more of the non-existent crowd.

On that note. I clearly segue into my next topic: Ed, Edd, N' Eddy fan-art. Specifically, I have been dragged into a collaboration with the Internet voice-actor and YouTube sensation over at www.youtube.com/hoodedcobra who, by the way, is the genius (I abuse that term) behind www.darthconneryclaus.tumblr.com

We are in the pre-production phase of what will be a fan-fic video episode of Ed, Edd, N' Eddy. I won't reveal much other than SPOILER ALERT: It'll be great.

So this morning I was working on some character designs, which is stupid since we all KNOW the characters. Really what I did was some deviantART unworthy quick, sloppy sketches rendered on my iPad. My drawing skills are much better than this, however not when dragging an index finger across glass to produce cartoons.

BELOW: Really shitty rendering here of one of the Kanker sisters. May, was it? And wtf did I draw her holding, a soccer shoe with metal spikes/cleats? I don’t know

BELOW: Drawn from memory, also over rushed and sloppy (which is how Lee approaches love-making)

BELOW: Rolf! The sad thing is I often could catch the gist of whatever he was saying. Same with Double D, watching that show improved my vocabulary at a young age.

BELOW: Johnny 2x4 drawn on iPad. That’d be funny if they released an app where plank’s face fills up the screen, for kids with no friends…or fans of Ed, Edd N’ Eddy (not always mutually exclusive)

BELOW we have Nazz. Never really seemed to have a lot of lines in the show.

Kevin draws Kevin. “DORKS!” crappy little drawing done too quickly, in an unfamiliar appup there was Eddy's big bro and down here we have Sarah and in-the-closet Jimmy.

Marie Kanker                      

iPhone 5

ha ha

WHY DO I INTERVIEW the CLINICALLY INSANE?

One Man Show: KEVIN PIASTRA EATS LUNCH AT YOU

"The sad thing is we cut out a lot of footage. No, there won't be outtakes in this, but I eat take-out!"                              --Kevin Piastra

WARNING: If you have been diagnosed with ADD you will not be able to sit through this tiring drivel. Seriously, a pointless, uppity, snarky, avant-garde, experimental ART short that almost makes Mitt Romney seem interesting.

See how little he accomplishes within the standard running-time of a Spongebob episode.
      Kevin Piastra's debut internet one-man show is really a satirical parody on the bullshitting and pretentiousness rampant in avant-garde cinema and experimental filmmaking. Kevin illustrates his point through the use of humorous Dadaism. By simply sitting in front of a webcam for 12 minutes, eating his lunch, this auteur comedically reveals the common narcissism and context-less self-importance that modern technology and pop culture has infused America's youth.
     Simultaneously Piastra mimics forms of so called "high-art" with irony, thus becoming his own concrete example of a genre he does not understand at all. He expresses his confusion and frustration at the fact that motion pictures often give their audiences no clue about the use of metaphors, symbols, themes and motifs in modern movie-making, just as in literature. By frustrating and boring the viewers of this very video, Piastra is an intentional depiction. He is demonstrating the thesis, specifically feeling slighted and ignorant. Suspecting that there is not more in a lot of art than meets the eye, rather it is a scam put on by artists of all mediums in order to appear more sophisticated and intelligent. As if a white canvas with off-white paint splashed on it is supposed to speak volumes in the eye of the beholder. Well, so too is the very one-man show you are reading about.
      Is Piastra REALLY making these points or is he just some young guy with a webcam and a sandwich who thinks he's clever? if you aren't reading this, you are getting nothing out of the short. That's the problem, artists are lazy. They never make up meaning the way Piastra is for this video. It's usually up to the audience to see what they want to in each piece, thus inserting their own deeper meaning into a work. This strikes Kevin as lazy on the artists part and stupid on the part of the masses who are doing all the work of enriching the oeuvre of someone who doesn't wish to directly and clearly communicate their ideas and emotions, probably because there aren't any! Just as with the novel "To Kill A Mockingbird", all the deep meaning and analysis was added years later. The author herself said "I wanted to write a simple love story".

http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/74an

http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/74an

Stand-Up, Bill Clinton, a Photograph, and Hank Darryl

HUMOROUS PHOTO CAPTION EXERCISE

--OctoPussy. No, wait—that’s a guy!

—Typical PeTA Board member

—Kraken in my Crack

—Tentacles and Testicles: The live-action Hentai Porno of the Summer

—“Baby, I was Born This Way”

—SEAmen in my calimari

—i you ask, Chik-Fil-A is okay with this.

—“Mom, dad, you know how I love to eat seafood?”

—“I want you to shoot that hot ink all over my face!”

—“Predicting the World Cup? I predict you don’t wear s cup”

—Can’t decide between a foot-job or getting head? That’s what a cephalopod is for! “head foot”

A CRY FOR HELP

Papal Currency: I Don't See Your Name On It!

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piastra

Also...

Piastra Interviews Redneck RightWing NutJob

Community Service: PSA

RANDOM MISC. JOKES

See? Now if they taught us THIS, I'd pay attention! 

_________________________________________________________________________________

COMEDY CRUMBS from the IMAGINATION MUFFIN

• Apple brags about their commitment to the environment. Then why do PC desktops have a Recycle Bin and macs have a Trash?
• "Pro Life'? When you have a kid, you no longer have a life!
• Bumper sticker idea: "Proud parents of a stoner"
• Folks used to use Pringles, but now girls on FaceBook make the duck face regardless.
• You show me an athlete who's not using performance enhancing drugs and I'll show you a guy who's not in the MLB or NFL.

THE HANK DARRYL SHOW: Excerpts

The Dark Knight Rises Colorado Shooting

Sorry but one theatre shoot up does not count as a national tragedy. Not even a regional one. But box office numbers will be now for the Dark Knight Rises. Its sad, but if murders at movies haven't happened yet, it was unfortunately bound to happen. I'll see Dark Knight Rises today. Its sad, but if murders at movies haven't happened yet, it was unfortunately bound to happen. If my family and I got shot at Dark Knight Rises, whether we survived or not, I would only see it as a tragedy for us and wouldn't expect anyone to care. Side note: The shooter was clever. Body armed, booby trapped apartment, setting an arm remotely to divert the police. And he called himself the joker and wore red hair! Talk about a dedicated fan. I do feel sorry off these people,I'm not a sixko.But these are hard times on earth, there are disgusting criminal nuts out there who do this shit. But every time can't count as a tragedy because then the word loses its value. Shakespeare wrote tragedies. Tragedy is a special term reserved for huge incidents. 12 people shot is horrible, I know. We should all learn from this. Don't take life for granted, treat each other better an live for the moment. The Voice of Reason

WELCOME to the ARBITRARIUM

Even my dreams are getting boring. Last night I was standing in my office, putting a variety of pens into a cup on my desk. And I felt concerned about which pens deserved to be in the cup or not. It's like OCD in my sleep!

Subscriber Contest and DirecTV/Viacom Dispute

Daniel Tosh Shouldn't Apologize for Gang Rape Jokes

http://www.laughspin.com/2012/07/10/daniel-tosh-apologizes-for-gang-rape-joke/

Incidents of this nature occur in comedy clubs all the time so for this to make news is absurd. If you are at a comedy club and know Daniel Tosh is playing, what do you expect? It's perfectly fine for him to joke anout that topic, this is 2012.
He wasn't condoning rape.
Dane Cook does rape jokes.
Louis CK is one of the best comedians of all time and he jokes about rape all the time.
The absolute greatest comedian ever George Carlin did a whole long routine on rape that's as funny as hell just to prove to people that context is what matters.
There are no taboo topics. We have first amendment rights, for a heckler to show her ignorance--to be prudish to come on like that and small mindedly heckle Tosh was pretty lame. She embarrassed herself. And the audience was laughing, so obviously the bit was funny. Most people act offended because they think they have to.
It's important to realize Tosh is somewhat of a social satirist and irony is a staple of his act. Sarcasm too.
Daniel was just covering his own ass by apologizing on twitter. His agent or manager probably told him to, in order to avoid boycotts, lawsuits, or some other money costing incident.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

6th Promo: Das Hank Darryl Cinema

5th Hank Ad

4th Promo: T.H.D.S.

3rd Promo: The Hank Darryl Show!

Promo#2: Hank "Signs off" Literally

Promo # 1: The Hank Darryl Show

Almost a "Mini-Episode". First in a series of fun-size Hank Darryl clips, promoting the revival of The Hank Darryl Show on YouTube.

LEGALIZE POT!

     Personally, I don't do any drugs and I certainly don't drink. For me as an individual, I know those substances would be very limiting. However I do believe weed should be legalized ASAP, particularly if you folks are interested in perhaps putting a dent in the national debt.

     Much of why pot is illegal because William Randolph Hearst ran a smear campaign against marijuana in the 1930's to protect his interests in the timber industry because hemp was poised to replace wood as an inexpensive raw material for the manufacture of paper. Today, hemp is a less-expensive alternative to lots of different commercial materials.
   
     THC is way less harmful than booze. So why are alcoholic beverages legal? Because of all the money it rakes in.  I think if we figured out how to power our cars with alcohol (don't drink and drive!) then oil companies would do everything in their power to try to make liquor illegal, too.

    In conclusion, you may wanna post my little micro-essay above on your FaceBook walls and Tumblrs link it to your Twitter pages, etc. If you're too tired, lazy, or stoned to do it now, 4/20 would be a good time to mark your calendars for such an activity.

     In fact, at 4:20 PM on 4/20 2013, please post what I just wrote in as many places online as you can. Any and very text-entry field you find, no matter how unrelated the subject is. E-mail it to friends and family, spread the word! Make posters, youtube videos (that credit me), etc.

     Thank you, and good night!

PROMO: "The Piastra Factor"

sorry this one is so loud, just like me!

"The Most Intriguing Dude Alive"

SOMETHING I made a while back just to amuse myself.

THE PIASTRA FACTOR: Season 2 Excerpt

Could there Still be Hope?

     Today, on this the 2nd of June, I have tracked down what are likely the remaining two Banana Snapples that were for sale. But where there are two, there could be more! I hope. My life-force dearly relies on these drinks, as you know from reading an earlier post.

     I will keep you all up to date on my latest information acquired throughout my travels and investigations, as I have devoted a portion of my life to righting the wrongs and fighting the discrimination society has burdened us Snapple lovers. Soon, my friends, I hope to form a group of lobbyists

     That is all for now, and remember in the immortal words of The Most Interesting Man in the World: "Stay Thirsty My Friends."

ELEGY for "GO BANANAS"

For year’s now, I’ve been “going bananas” trying to find the Snapple ”Go Bananas” flavor in delis who would sell it consistently and now they’re discontinuing it! :(

*SNIFF* I loved Snapple! We had something special and beautiful together. I’d pay them money and  they’d give me banana juice & Real Facts. I can;t live without that relationship.

Hey, Snapple, here’s a Real Fact for you: “One of Snapple’s best customers doesn’t know if he can go on living without “Go Bananas”!

*SOB* 

Do you even know how hard it is to find bottled banana juice in stores in the tri-state area? I have to drive an hour away to Corrado’s! Once there, I endure the sights, sounds and smells of disgusting, international, third-world goat parts, cattle genitalia and the stench of a thousand rotting cheeses! 

My investigations have led me to several deli workers that stock shelves and order the shipments who claim Snapple canceled that glorious, liquid-orgasm of a juice product  because of quickly spoiling puree and lack of popularity. Really? Diet Coke works as a spermicide but you can’t improve your puree?

Some creative marketing was all it would’ve taken to keep the love of my life on shelves. People I’ve talked to over the years have never even heard of banana Snapple!

*SIGH* If only there was some way I could go campaigning to make this a non-private sectror issue. Shit, I gotta get me a Super PAC, before those are (hopefully) discontinued as well. 

Sincerely and with all due respect,                                                                                                                                 The Rev. Sir, Dr. Kevin M. Kinnelon-Piastra, P.H.D. (Piastra Honorary Doctorate)                                          Dictated, not read.

FACEBOOK POLITICS

Hey! How y'all doing tonight? It's 3:30 in the afternoon?

Oh well. Anyway, it's been a hell of a while since I talked to you folks. I guess you could say I took a blogging hiatus, even though most people who call themselves bloggers got to be that way from taking one too many a hiatus. But I digress.

I wanted to talk to you today about a touchy subject, a topic most comedians don't like to discuss for fear that it alienates their audience members and shoos off potential fans. Controversy should usually be avoided! I speak, of course, about...FaceBook!

Hahaha, you thought I was gonna say "politics!" didn't you? Well, I'm an unpredictable guy. Hell, I might even be so wild as to not spell-check this post.

Alright, so really, I just wanted to share with you an encounter I experienced about fourteen minutes ago.
The following is a funny, true conversation I had with an old classmate (haven't seen him in years!) on FaceBook. Feel free to forward it in your E-Mails. We’ll call him Bob:

BOB: A black, a Muslim, and a communist walk into a bar. The bartender says “what can I get you to drink, Mr. President?”

KEVIN PIASTRA: half black, not Muslim, and not even almost a Socialist.

BOB: I’m entitled to my beliefs.

KP: Why would you want to believe something that’s been proven false? One plus one isn’t five, but you’re entitled to believe that too.

BOB: That’s all I ask.

KP: A racist, a bigot, and a stubborn/closed-minded guy walk into a bar, the bartender says, “What can I get ya, Bob?”

BOB: Too far, Kev, too far.

KP: Not as far as your joke.

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